You are.

Yes, you're the best guy in my life, you’re the only one who can fill that gap in my heart, the space that has come to know you… that place that knows you’re the only one for me, that gap that will accept no one but you. I know you may disagree, but forever in my eyes, you're as perfect as can be. You can make me smile even when I’m in my worst mood. You can make me laugh all the time & it’s only in your arms that I forget all my troubles. 

 I hope we could spend more time together. A few hours is better than never. If we could only make it longer, a whole day would be fine. A whole week would be fine. A whole month would be fine. A whole year would be fine. A decade would be fine. A century would be fine. 

FOREVER WOULD BE FINE.

You complete me. You do

^^

-

Pernah merasakan cinta?
Aku tau, kata cinta untuk anak seusiaku masih terlalu tabu. Masih terlalu awam untuk memahami makna cinta sesungguhnya.
Tapi ku tau, cinta itu kebahagian.
Kebahagiaan yang tercipta tanpa disadari.
Kebahagiaan untuk setiap percikan senyuman yang tercipta tanpa tanda.
Kebahagian yang membuat semua insan mendelikkan senyuman tanpa henti.
Dan kebahagiaan yang selalu dirasakan pada setiap hentakan irama jantung dan nadi.
Cinta tidak pernah mencipatakan suatu penyesalan apalagi tangisan. Itu semua diciptakan atas perihal keegoisan. Cukup satu kata itu, makna murni terkhianati.
Cinta yang tulus dan suci merasakan sakitnya kembali.

Cinta itu pengikhlasan tulus.
Iklas melepaskan untuk menerima yang terbaik menghampiri.
Cinta itu perjamuan,
Dari mata, rasa, hingga ke hati
Cinta bukan sekedar kata hati
Namun jauh dalam lubuk hati terdalam
Cinta adalah kendali emosi
Jikalau aku pujangga, entah apa yang bisa aku isyaratkan
Entah apa penggamabaranku tentang cinta
Mungkin hanya abu, jingga, atau mungkin juga tak teraba
Seringkali aku tak bisa membeda antara cinta juga rasa

Cinta ialah arti indah.
Indah untuk semua insan yang menyambutnya dengan kebebasan hati

Dan sungguh apa yang aku ungkapkan tentang cinta
hanyalah sebuah sajak yang mungkin tak laku dipinang melodi..

Syakira & Reiner
xoxo

Some things are wrong

I keep telling myself that it’s going to be okay, that we will talk, that we will be getting closer soon. Just like we did before. But I’m not so great at this whole optimism act, cause I’m still crying myself to sleep every night. Knowing there will be something wrong between us. I just always had this feeling that we weren't meant to be together. I'm sorry I ever tried. I was a fool to have hope in you. I honestly couldn't tell anyone why I loved you. I just get the greatest feeling when I see you looking at me, even for just a second or when you say my name because i know that even if it's only for a second, I crossed your mind. 
I just want to be the smile, the first thought, the long drive, or the short walk, the last voice, the random call, the laugh, the comfort hug, your second half, the sparkle in your eyes, everything you need, just what you want. I don't need a super-cute relationshit between us, I just want to be yours. Believe me, you've got someone here, someone who wants to make it right, someone who loves you.  I'll always be waiting outside. Maybe one day you'll let me in. 
I have a long list of things to say, but I'll leave it at, you r-e-a-l-l-y amaze me. You are my fairy tale that I never want to end, even with a happily ever after.

A shit

What is heartbreak?

It is lying on the bathroom floor trying your damnest to breathe while simultaneously wondering why it went wrong, how you're gonna get up and pretend like everything is alright, and what the hell are you going to do about that hole in your chest?

Yeah, I think that's it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is she broken? Maybe.

Does it hurt? Like hell.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I first met him, I knew in a moment I would have to spend the next few days re-arranging my mind so there'd be room for him to stay... But here is it. A pain. Should I blame love for making me think about that person everyday? Or should I blame that person for making me feel this way? Lets boycott love.

Girl's confession

Here's to all the girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning & be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, & moved on with your life , only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened.

Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend" one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves & misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute.

Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change . We listened to our friends tell us that we we 're stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, & even snuck around to see him for while . We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking we would be just friends, & ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us. 

Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us . We learned to settle for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.

Here's for the ones who did their hair and makeup & put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, & took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day & wonder "what if".

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, & cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with .

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, & get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that " things were going too fast, he needs time ". Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. < / P>

This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an " I told you so ". The ones that could just tell that they had made a mistake by ever allowing him into their hearts & their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here's for the ones that finally realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, & the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here are for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better .

This is for those confusing days, when you miss him & want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong and remember that relationships are like broken glass; sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together & get hurt.

Remember the times you cried & how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When 'your song' comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made & tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation & the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the hell he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night & how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.

One day you'll find a guy, who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry . You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's going to hurt like hell, & it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal. This is for those girls who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again.

<LC>

The truth

The thought of him makes my heart ache. I can't stop thinking of the last time I saw him. His large eyes filled with some emotion I couldn't read, and how it left me feeling strangely empty and wanting.I quit. I'm over you. I fell so hard. I was always there when you needed to talk to someone. So basically, I'm tired of being just a friend or chasing you. So if you want me, I'm here. But I'm done wasting all my time on someone who doesn't care.

Liebe Freunde!

Don't know how to start this post. But today we went to Talaga Sampireun (If I'm not mistaken) because in less than a month I'm going to flyyyyy to Germany. So I decided (no, actually it was my mom) inviting some of my good friends.
And well... because of them, I do have the hardest goodbye. But seriously I just can't thank good enough to God. Cuz I'm so blessed. I'm too blessed to have them in my life :)

Pardon my face :(

Guess who is he?-_- RAVI!

Chocolates from Ravi, Edwin, Rio

8 CM backpacking to Puncak

HAI HAI HAI!! (Am I too excited??)

I'm so sorry because of my last post was about my... yeah you know.
But now, I'm going to tell you guys about this trip with 8CM!

Jadi gini, sebelumnya gue baru aja liat bbm dari Rahmi yang bilang "Anjir kir gue baru bangun.." berarti tandanya apa? Iya, tandanya efek jalan-jalannya berasa banget man.

Ok, lemme say if semuanya berawal dari berakhirnya Ujian Nasional SMA 2013/2014 tgl 16 April '14. Gue, Rahmi, Inggit sm Ravi membicarakan ini semua di deket mimbar upacara, terus nambah Pras, Rozi, Ratna. Kenapa gak ada edwin? Edwin udah ngegas pulang. Kita ngebicarain gimana kalo kita besok nginep dipuncak 1 malem aja, ini semua dadakan.. tapi akhirnya jadi juga planing a dan planing b nya, kita pun pulang. Sampe rumah, muncul multiperson chat buat ngebicarain ini semua. Oke....... jadi pertama-tama chatnya masih pada kalem.. terus terus terus yang pada chat cuman itu-itu doang, justru yang paling ngegas (baca: Edwin) ngga muncul-muncul. Sampe akhirnya semua cewe pada berkoar pada ngegas (kecuali inggit krn dia udah tidur-_-) ngomel ke Edwin. Ada yang bilang Edwin omdo lah, inilah itulah apalah bahkan sampe ratna + gue leave chat. Padahal dibelakang itu semua gue lagi chat sama Rahmi kalo gue cuman acting doang :( akhirnya gue minta untuk join lagi. HAHA

AKhirnya debat terus berlangsung kan ya, bahkan 8cm ini hampir aja GAGAL guys. Alesannya banyak:

1. Ravi minta kejelasan nginep dmn, krn orangtuanya ga ngizinin kalo gak ada kejelasan.

2. Edwin plin-plan setengah mampus

3. Oji gaboleh nginep karena takut kenapa-napa soalnya senin dia mesti test KARBOL

4. Pras yang tak kunjung gabisa dihubungin

Jadi intinya ini semua karena cowo-cowonya doang guys, padahal cewenya udah pada fix, ya walaupun hampir semuanya mesti bohong juga buat cari alasan ke orangtua masing-masing WKWK

Setelah pada marah-marah, mulai deh satu persatu ada kejelasan dan akhirnya fix jam 7 kita ketemuan di stat Tebet. TAPI APA? kita baru otw ke bogor jam 9 krn bekelnya rahmi ketinggalan trs nyokapnya marah-marah. Trus kita nunggu............nunggu........... sampe akhirnya tbtb edwin ngechat di group "Ada yang punya sisir kecil gak yang warna merah? Sisir gue ketinggalan" HALAH DASAR TERONG BALADO, GENIT AMAT WKWK Oke fix lanjut.

Sesampainya di Bogor kita langsung ke terminal buat nyari kendaraan ke puncak pass. Like I said, ini semua pure dadakan. Kita lost gatau naik apa ke puncak, so we decided untuk jalan aja dulu ke terminal.
Setelah nanya ke orang di terminal, katanya kita disuruh naik L300 yang ada dibelakang terminal. Akhirnya pas ketemu L300, kita negosiasi, ralat, maksutnya Edwin yang negosiasi krn dia tbtb maju sendirian pas kita lagi pada nawar wkwk kita semua mundur krn pas edwin nawar udah kayak mau malak njir, abangnya yang harusnya lebih galak aja, malas jadi kalas galak sama edwin-_-

Okay, well abis itu kita naik L300 yang kita ganti namanya jadi "Omprengan". Selama perjalanan, Edwin selalu godain tales puncak lewat jendela mobil (baca: cabe) biasa jiwa terong baladonya keluar :( perjalanan kita ternyata jauh bgt gaes, sekitar 30km lebih dari puncak bawah. Itupun kita ke hotel yang kita gatau kondisinya gimana, gatau layak atau ngga, gatau nyaman atau ngga, dan gatau masih ada kamar kosong atau ngga... Yang kita tau hotelnya itu murah trs ada di puncak pass-_- Sebut saja namanya hotel Lotus.

Selama perjalanan, dempet-dempetan di omprengan kita semua pada foto-foto trs tidur, trs tbtb edwin makan bekel nasi uduknya yang dibawa dari jakarta wkwk. Udah lamaaaa bgt otw sampe lewatin masjid ata'awun trs lewatin cibodas akhirnya sampe juga di hotel Lotus yang ternyata kita masih harus masuk kedalem lebih dari 300meter dengan jalan kaki (krn omprengan gak masuk kedalem). TP SUMPAH GAK NYESEL BGT GUYS, ITU HOTEL LOKASINYA BAGUS BGT ADA DI KOMPLEKS VILLA GITU, FASILITASNYA BANYAK, BAGUS DEH!! TAPI SAYANG, HOTELNYA.... SEPI. Sumpah, sepi banget parah gabohong, bisa dibilang kalo kita fix di hotel itu yang nginep di sana cuman kita ber8 dari satu hotel-_______-
akhirnya karena Rahmi ragu, dan beberapa yang lain juga ragu, kita pun mutusin buat coba nawar villa di komplek itu krn pas kita otw hotel kita sempet ditawarin villa permalem 850rb. Ok, akhirnya dengan jiwa kepahlawanannya Edwin dia mengusulkan dirinya buat nawar villanya bareng Oji aja. Dia yakin dia bisa nawar sampe 400 mentoknya 500. Tapi nyatanya gagal. Kita dapet villa di ujung komplek dengan harga 570rb permalem. Kita debat, ragu mau stay disana apa ngga, tp kalo ngga ambil villa sana kita gatau mau tidur dimana apalagi drtd ujan-_- akhirnya kita bbm si Wenk-Boy (nama dari penjaga villanya wkwk) kalo kita fix tinggal disana. 

Akhirnya sampe disana, villanya biasa aja dr luar, tp nyampe dalem, PW abis gaaisss. Walaupun sepi dan depan rumahnya justru taneman bawang-_- Lanjut, akhirnya kita pada solat dengan wudhu make air hujan krn tbtb air mati dan wenk boy lg usaha buat ngeluarin air itu. Selesai solat, leha-leha bentar akhirnya kita keluar buat nyari makan dan beli perbekalan buat entar malem. Kita beli macem-macem. Salah satunya mie alfamart untuk sesama kaum duafa... yaudahlahya, inget kondisi :')

Abis itu kita semua jalan kaki buat balik ke villa, yah ngirit gitudeh. Trs yang cowo-cowo pada jagain kita giduuu. Ah sweet yea. Walaupun ngejagainnya dengan cara masing-masing. Kayak edwin dengan gaya lebaynya trs yg suka bgt ngagetin, gaya oji yang asal nyeplos trs gak diduga gt ngomongnya dll

Sampe di villa, air udah nyala dongggg trs pada cuci muka, krn hampir semuanya pada gak mandi krn mager wk akhirnya si Ravi masakin kita mie alfamart tadi sisanya pada leha-leha depan tv. Ada yang main kartu bohong juga. Yang bahkan sampe cewe-cewenya diajarin main kartu bohong...... dan yang kalah mesti ToD. Asikdeee pd kebongkar rahasianya wkwkwk 

kita semua pada main kartu sambil nonton dangdut academy. Ya biasa tontonannya si Edwin krn katanya lucu pasa ada adegan berantem2nya. ckck dikira film action kaliya wkwk

Udah berkali-kali main kartu bohong, gue mulai tepar, dilanjutkan dengan ami... trs satu persatu mulai berasa mau tepar. Akhirnya yang cowo-cowo pada mindahin tempat tidur ke ruang tengah buat pd tidur rame-rame di ruang tv. Yang anak cewenya juga, krn Rahmi sm gue gamau tidur dikamar krn takut H333 tp jadinya asik kan guys? banyak bet foto candid pas pd bobo.

Pas yang lain pada tidur, gue sm rahmi yg gabisa tidur krn kita sebelum-sebelumnya udah berkali-kali tidur. Akhirnya kita nonton film horor dan dilanjutkan dengan curcol. Yang besok paginya pada bilang ke kita kalo mereka yg udah pada tidur ternyata pd nguping curcolan gue sm rahmi krn ngobrolnya make suara toak wkwk

Oke besoknya gue sm rahmi yang paling susah dibangunin, hahaha mager soalnya. Akhirnya grgr gue sm rahmi kita semua ngaret buat jogging ke gunung mas-_- tp gapapa, ngaretnya cuman 30 menit. Tp setidaknya kita msh bisa ngeliat sunrise donkk huahaha 

Berhubung gunung mas jauh dari villa kita, kitapun mutusin buat naik angkot. Yang awalnya kita kira cuman 3000 perorang taunya 7000 perorang. Kampret.... duit kita hampir aja kurang-___-

Sesampenya digunung mas pas kita mau masuk taunya pake tarif lagi per orang goceng. Krn duit kita ga cukup kita pun mutusin buat masuk kekebun teh lewat jalan selundupan HAHAHA

yak pas otw nanjak kebun teh, itu suram bgt gilak. Gatau knp paling gabisa deh lewat jalan begituan, khususnya gue. Bukannya gak mau capek, atau gamau ribet. Tp asal ga parnoan sih gue gamasalah. Tp sayangnya gue parnoan.. takut ada uler matok lah, cacing gede kayak deket villa lah, ulet lah, lintah nempel lah dll-_- akhirnya gue minjem sepatu bootny ravi, dan ravinya nyeker...

Tp karena gue ga tega sm ravi, gue balikin lagi sepatunya dan akhirnya gue balik make sendal crocs :')

Nyampe sana kita foto-foto dong as always, sambil teriak-teriak ngelepas penat sehabis UN krn ini tujuan kita men. 

Sampe tiba-tiba ami ngeliat kelabang disungai kecil, kaki gue ditempelin pacet trs kaki ravi ditempelin lintah, ditambah lagi pas foto-foto Ravi sm Pras mau boker-____- akhirnya jam 8 kita mutusin buat turun lagi dan buru-buru ke villa. Yak kayak pas naik, gue dibantuin Oji dan Rahmi dibantuin Pras-_- emgdah yg paling gentle mereka berdua doang, Ravi sm Edwin mah.....wkwkwk ya gmn, Inggit yang jatoh depan edwin aja, edwin cuma ngomong "Hati-hati nggit" wakakak dasar kang omdo. Sampe bawah, akhirnya Ravi sm Edwin nyari toilet, dan Pras yang udah nahan dr awal justru ditinggal-_- sampe akhirnya udah selesai boker, kita mutusin buat lgsg ke villa aja sambil nge BM (bonceng mobil). Yoi guys, pengalaman pertama bgt nih naik mobil pick up.. SENENG BANGEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sampe di depan gapura daerah lotus, pras, oji, ravi lebih milih buat lari ke villa nemenin pras yang buru-buru mau lgsg boker, dan ninggalin edwin buat jagain kita. YAH... Edwin yg suruh jagain. gagal udeh. Kita takut, dia juga pasti takut wkwkk

---

Nyampe di villa, ternyata pras gak ada. Ternyata dia gak kuat lagi buat nahan, yang akhirnya pas dipersimpangan hotel lotus dia memilih buat numpang boker di hotel yang sepi yang super horror guys. Sampe akhirnya pras ke gep sama org sana trs ditanya2. Yah lebih tepatnya kayak disindir wkwk

Udah kan tuh, akhirnya kita leha-leha dan main kartu dan blablabla banyak bgt deh yang dilakuin. Banyak kejadian-kejadian gokil yang dilaluin. Dimulai dari Oji yang nyemburin edwin pake air yang lagi dimiinum pas..... (yah u know lah yegak 8cm?wkwk) trs Ravi yang lg dikamar mandi trs gasengaja pintunya dibuka, trs dari Oji sm Pras yang nyanyi-nyayi dikamar mandi sambil di rekam suaranya, Rahmi yang tbtb jalan duluan sendiri keluar stat bogor pas awal keberangkatan tanpa dia sadarin kita diem aja dibelakangnya, Edwin yang pemalas, Cowo-cowo yg pada masak buat sarapan rame-rame, cowo-cowo yg pada bikin dessert buat rame-rame, bahkan sampe yg nyapu juga para cowo. Intinya cewe-cewe like a boss bgt wkwk dan msh banyaaaak!!!

Sampe akhirnya kita harus packing dan ninggalin villa lotus. Apalagi kita harus ninggalin wenk boy yang tiba-tiba ngehits banget diantara kita semua.. 

Trs udahkan kita niatnya mau ngeBM tapi nyatanya gabisa :( akhirnya kita nyari omprengan lagi. 

Sesampenya didalem omprengan, trnyt tarif naik men.. Jadi 20rb perorang-_- kita tidur..... banyak foto candid lagi yang terjadi akhirnya. 

Ini salah satunya. WKWKWKWK maafin ya bang Ocit...

Mana dijalan ternayata kita kebagian buka tutup jalan yang baru dibuka jam 4. Akhirnya supirnya mutusin lewat jalan dalem. Gila men kita lewatin hutan, lewatin lembah *ok lebay* tp kurang lebih gitu. Mana ujan deres + gak ada lampu.. tp akhirnya kita nembus jalan raya puncak lagi. Tapi tetep aja kita mesti nunggu buat dibuka jalannya ternyata.. tp gapapa asal rame-rame sih gas terus wkwk

---

Pas nyampe di bogor, kita solat dulu dimesjid sana (Alhamdulilah selama jalan-jalan kita diingetin buat solat terus :p) Abis itu kita ke stat bogor. Pas didalem commuter, terjadi selfie-selfiean lagi wkwk trs candid-candidan lagi sampe kita nyampe di stat tebet. Sesampenya di stat tebet, rahmi nangis..... dia sedih kita pisah. Ditambah lagi pas kita mencar, kita pd nangis dulu.. trs pas gue otw berdua sm ami buat ke kp.melayu, ami nangis lebih kejer lagi :(:( sweet sih tapi kan jadi sedih jugaaaaa :"O

But, like seriously, 2 hari 1 malem kemaren itu luar biasa banget. Dimulai dari susah bareng-bareng bahkan sampe seneng bareng-bareng. Gabisa dilupain. Bahkan apa yang baru gue posting ini aja belum semuanya diceritain secara detail. Tapi, thanks for these two days wenk-boy army!!!! Next trip nyusul gue ke jogja ya, gue rela kok jadi tour guide kalian entar. ILY 

(Beberapa foto buat kenangan..)

Ini pas main kartu bohong.. no nethink ya, itu uang buat bayar villa sbnrnya wkwk

kang omdo kalah, disuruh push up tp gakuat

Bang Ocit sm Kang omdo abis survey villa sama wenk boy \m/

Pulang ke Jakarta

Inggit masak mie. Sisanya yg masak anak cowonya buat sarapan wkwk

Yak, ini dia posisi tidur kita buat 1 malam..

NEXT TRIP YOGYAKARTA, 8CM! 

Photoshoot

Asik kemaren abis diadain photoshoot 12 IPA 2 untuk buku tahunan. Tempatnya di Bookshelf, Depok. Deket ya? HAHA

Ini baru banget sampe..

Masih banyak foto-fotonya sebenernya, cuman buat privasi aja kaliya, anjay sok ngartis banget. wkwk

Walaupun pas otw ada yang diterjang badai, karena ada yang otw naik motor dan ada yang kena macet karena naik mobil, but I had so much fun! it also was my best day with additics banget<3 Thanks for those memories <3 Gonna miss y'all so much, ga berasa senin depan langsung ujian sekolah, terus TO bermunculan kepermukaan, lalu UN, dan kita udah ga sekelas :(

Ah kalo kayak gini sih lebih cocok jadi sad story di ask fm ya..