Whats the point?

I don't know what I should do with all these feelings, which have been hurting me and making a different me, inside. 

I don't know if I should keep on calling out your name and wishing you were here or stop it instead.

Happy being adult buk bendahara♥

Jadi gini. Bendahara rohis dan paskib ulangtaun gitu.. ya sebenernya udah 4 hari yg lalu si tp baru sempet ngsh surprisenya hari ini karena pada mager sibuk UTS :-)
Begini rencananya...

Janjian awal itu jam 9 disevel unkris. Ya tp gmn, dasar orang indonesia, jam 9 itu sama dengan jam 11. Jadilah jam 11 kita baru pada nyampe disevel unkris -_- Disana, ngobrol dulu lah. ngilangin kepenatan ati. ada yg galau, ada yg nyari wc buat defekasi ada juga yg beli qtela harga 3500 ambil kejunya setengah jem. Yaa begitulah...
Tapi alhamdulilah wasyukurilah, gue, riris, audy, nissa udah sempet beli kuenya gitu kan. Ya murmer lah yang penting berkhasiat :)

Baca: HBD ukhti D364. Alay BKT

Akhirnya dengan tingkat kemalasan semangat yang tinggi, kita pergi ke rumah dega.. mulai deh kita telfon-telfonan sama doi (baca: mama dega) bikin rencana yang baru. Tapi empetnya, pas lagi ngeracik ramuan 2 ember buat dega, ada mobil kijang dateng, dan di jok depan ada anak kecil, ANAK KECIL yang mirip sama adeknya dega. Akhirnya semua anak cewek pada tiarap setengah telentang dan tengkurep. Dan disatu sisi, anak cowok nya pada stay cool dengan tampang sok ganteng tapi nggak. Padahal itu mobil lewatin mereka coba-_- dan ternyata sampe akhirnya, itu mobil bukan punya Dega. Apalagi anak kecil tadi, bukan adek nya dega... kurang emosi apa :)
Terus, abis kelar ngeracik, rencana pun dimulai. Anak cewek sok dateng bertamu dengan baik ke rumah dega, dengan alesan ada rapat mendadak yang berhubungan sama ratu bb. Sengaja kita gak ngajak yang cowoknya dulu, krn pasti, PASTI, dega bakal keluar dengan vulgar. wkwkwk dan foila! Bener kan, lebih parah dr dugaan malah-_-
Skip, kita basa-basi dengan membara. apalagi yang dibahas itu si ratu bb. Sampe akhirnya, salah satu dari temen bukan temen kita mau defekasi dan butuh tissue basah. Maaf nama disensor, demi kebaikan martabat dimata mantannya. Intinya, kasian ntar. Trs, si-seseorang-yang-biasa-defekasi ini minta dianterin dega ke warung. Dan bakal ada surprise dr kita terutama yang cowok pas dia udah nyampe warung. Tapi, berhubung kode dari gue nya gagal krn sinyal yang termakan lingkungan keras, mereka cuma shock ngeliat dega dan si-seseorang-yang-biasa-defekasi, dan sebaliknya. Alhamdulilah, dega orangnya agak-sedikit-lumayan lemot, jadi ya dia biasa aja-_____________________-
Sampe akhirnya kita harus ngeganti jadi rencana xxx-yz. Gabaik kalo cuma ditulis xxx.
Akhirnya pas dega lg masuk kamar, anak cowok lgsg dateng kerumah dega, dan kita nyanyiin lagu HABEDE deh buat degaaaaa =)

Selesai tiup lilin sama potong kue, kita sok-sokan pulang, eeeeh dia malah mau mewek wkwkwkw :( akhirnya, ini point penting dari seluruh potongan cerita "Kebahagian Sang Ibuk Bendahara" saatnya penyiraman 2 ember racikan dengan sistem rodi gitu :)

Liat betapa kentalnya :s adonan stgh kilo telor, 1 bungkus kopi,
2 bungkus tepung terigu, air, dan lumut :)

Rencananya sih, doi mau di iket di tiang listrik, tapi berhubung deket rumahnya gak ada tiang listrik. Jadi deh cuman di iket dipager. pantes doi lemot, tiang listrik aja gada, apalagi jaringan ke kepalanya-_- wkwkwk canda :*

     

               

                          

So, ini dia senyum kebahagian... atau kemenangan (?) wkwk

HABEDE IBUK BENDAHARA. AKA JURAGAN MIE AYAM!
ENJOY BEING LEGAL :P

"Sometimes you have to test someone. Not because you don't trust them, but to see how much they're willing to prove they love you."

You.

Hi ky, now I am going to say that I'm so glad to know and have you. Sorry for not letting you know because Idk its just a lil bit hard for me..

But I'm totally yours. And thanks for loving me..

Happy Birthday ky!

Ini late banget ya.... ulangtaunnya kemaren sebenernya. Tapi ya gimana, ini modem aja lagi mati suri. Ntar mati, ntar idup. Yeaaaa boam.

Kemaren itu, ulangtaunnya... HEHE

Dari kapan tau gue udah niat mau bikin surprise kecil-kecilan. yaaaaa sekedar bikin kue sm kasi kado. Tapi semuanya nyaris gagal.....

Gini ceritanya.

Hari Senin, 11 Februari kemaren gue ke xxxx buat nyari bahan-bahan kue bareng Retno, Ratna. Dan you've to know this. Tempatnya itu loooooooh! Jauh dari peradaban. Diujung jalan entah apa namanya yang banyak preman pasarnya, yang maco-maco macem petinju gituh. TAPI ini versi produk gagal seorang petinjunya.

nyampe sana, alhamdulilah gak salah ngajak orang Tuhaaaan, mereka ngerti apa yang harus dibeli. Walaupun ya entah siapa yang mesti sabar buat ngadepin kita-kita. 

Kelar kan tuh, akhirnya kita nyari tempat laen buat beli dus-dus kue gituh biar keliatan bagus. Pas ketemu dus nya murah meriah! Harganya cuman 2500 aja ;")

Hari Selasa, 12 Februari 2013. Pulang sekolah teng gue langsung caw sama satu makhluk yang entah kenapa sampe sekarang gue masih bertahan temenan sama dia. (Makasih ya Allah!) ya kayak tujuan awal kita, kita mau nyari kado buat lucky. Kado, yah yang lumayan bagus tapi berkelas. Anjaaaas.

Keliling kan tuh ya... nyari. 

Udah keliling muter-muter. muter-muter. muter-muter. dan muter-muter, ga nemu juga kado yang bagus - bagus. Sampe akhirnya, ya subhanaullah allahuakbar, ada sebuah toko yang menarik perhatian juga. Lari lah gue kesana, dan setelah ngobrak-ngabrik yang bahkan tampak jelas di wajah si mas-mas kalo dia udah empet sama kelakuan kita, gue pun mutusin buat janji sama abangnya kalo kita bakal beli disini. 

Singkat cerita, gue nyampe rumah setelah beli kado dan ke dokter. pas nyampe rumah, musibah itupun datang... Hp gue udah reboot bahkan lebih dari 10kali tapi tetap aja gak nyala. Dan semuanya diluar ekspetasi gua yang hasilnya nihil :|

Rencana awal mau otp-an kandas sudah. Yang niatnya mau ngucapin jam 12 teng kanda pula. Terimakasih Tuhan....

Rabu, 13 Februari 2013. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, KY! Ini hari dia ulangtaun, dan hape masih juga belum nyala. 

Karena hal itu, gue agak gak srek juga lah ya, mau ngucapin langsung. Ya walaupun semalem suntuk udah ngebuat VN ampe 12 kali, yang hasilnya ancur bagus semua :') akhirnya gue mutusin buat pura-pura lupa dan ngira kalo dia itu becanda ulangtaun hari ini...

Skip. Nyampe rumah dengan Ratna. Nunggu Retno yang jalan udah kayak putri solo. 

Sejam kemudian...

Retno nyampe juga.. Dengan tampang yang ber'khas'kan kesuraman.
Kita mulai ngebuat kue. ralat. Tapi adonan. Mau bikin adonan aja ribet. mesti numpang kompor di tetangga krn kompor gue itu horror. Bisa meleduk kapan aja. Jadi gue ga ngizinin mereka buat make kompor gue.

Kelar tuh kelar. Udah nyampe dibagian mesti-nge-ovenin-adonan nih B) yang lagi (lagi) numpang dirumah tetangga gue yang sabarnya banget :') Rencana awal ngeoven cuman 15 menit, tapi sampe setengah jam gak kelar-kelar, akhirnya gue sama ratna mutusin buat balik kerumah duluan tanpa sepengetahuan Retno. Ya abis gimana, bukannya gak solit. tapi tuntutan nutrisi dan asupan berlebih udah berdemokrasi ria di perut.

Retno pun datang.... kembali membawa ekspresi yg lebih suram dibanding sebelumnya.

Tapi yaudahlahya. Udah biasa juga dia di bully. Akhirnya skrg kita lanjutin ngepotong kue jadi 2, nunggu ampe dingin sambil ngebuat kartu buat doi. Karena suatu kreatifas itu udah bagian dari hidup retno, gue disuruh ngolesin krim kue, tapi berhubung retno gak percayaan sama hasil kerja gue, retno pun nyuruh ratna buat ngedampingin gue-_- padahal dia gatau ya? HAHAHAHA gue sama ratna 11, 12

Hari Kamis, 14 Februari 2013. 

Jam 6 pagi gue otw dengan bawa kue sambil duduk miring di motor. bayangin butuh perjuangan itu. terombang ambing diatas motor sambil nahan kue biar ga ancur smiley diatasnya...

Tapi makasih...kue nya masih tetap hidup pas udah nyampe sekolah yang langsung gue titipin ke warung depan 53 :')

Skip nyampe pulang sekolah, buru-buru gue makan dikantin terus ambil kue dan cabut nyiapin semuanya.

Tapi ini failed. 

Doi udah disuruh ke lt.3, gue malah gajadi ngasih surprise disana. Yang ada.... gue ngasih surprise di lt.2 di 11 sos 3. dengan lilin yang berjumlah 17 dan mulai meleleh, yang mulai memendek sampe seperempat dari lilinnya :')

Gak sempet make a wish. karena kalo dipaksain make a wish, pas udah kelar ngebuat permohonan itu lilin udah keburu habis.

Lalu.. pas mau motong kue, piso nya ilang. Ilang kebuang sama gue. Kebuang ke tong sampah yang bahkan 2 menit sebelumnya itu tong baru aja dikosongin ;')

Tapi gapapa, walaupun zonknya sejadi-jadinya, setidaknya dia keliatan seneng :) gue juga seneng deh hihi. Seenggaknya perjuangan gue ga sia-sia buat dia, dimulai dari ke pasar, dan yang maksain diri buat masak (cuma buat dia) walaupun gue sendiri ga pernah punya bakat disitu, begadang sampe malem buat bikin kuenya, bikin VN berkali-kali buat nyari yg terbaik. Huihihi
Gue gapernah segininya sama seseorang, but I did it for him.
I love you bgt kyyyy.

"Once u make a Leo super happy and fallin so hard in love, leo will be the best lover for you"

THE END

I'm not sad anymore, I'm just tired of this place.
The weight of the world would be okay if it would pick a shoulder to lean on
So I could stand up straight.

I'm not sad anymore, I'm just tired of this place.
The homophobic bullshit that's somehow okay
Just because you didn't mean it that way.

I can't take anymore of all the scum in this place.
I don't fit in.

So they're calling it blasphemy,
A fucking catastrophe
For saying it's a stupid choice to make.
But this place just brings misery.
I hate what it does to me.
I fight, but I can't escape the way that I don't fit in with any of this.
And I don't think we're the same.

I'm fucking losing my head trying to understand this.
Kids outside with guitars hoping for someone to notice.
No one wants to hear your sappy bullshit.

You're too caught in semantics to see it,
But you're no fucking different.

No.

I'm not sad anymore, I'm just waiting.
It's two more months 'til I'm done with this.
And I don't make sense to anyone but my best friends.
And I don't fit in anywhere but the back of the van.

http://rediscoveringatlantis.blogspot.com/

Boy: Baby, we need to talk.

Girl: Ricardo, what do you mean? 

Boy: Something has come up...

Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it bad? 

Boy: I don't want to hurt you, baby.

Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I hope he doesn't break up with me... I love him so much. 

Boy: Baby, are you there?

Girl: Yeah, I'm here. What is so important? 

Boy: I'm not sure if I should say it..

Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me. 

Boy: I'm leaving..

Girl: Baby, what are you talking about? I don't want you to leave me, I love you. 

Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm moving far away.

Girl: Why? All of your family lives over here. 

Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away.

Girl: I can't believe this. 

Father: (Picks up the other phone, interrupts & yells furiously) ERICA! What did I tell you about talking to boys?! Get off the damn phone! (And hangs up)

Boy: Wow, your father sounds really mad.

Girl: You know how he gets, but anyways, I don't want you to go. 

Boy: Would you run away with me?

Girl: Baby, you know I would, I would do anything for you, but I can't... 
You don't know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me! 

Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I understand, I guess..

Girl: *Thinking* I can't believe what's going on. 

Boy: I need to give you something tonight, because I am leaving on flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now.

Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park. 

Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there in 20 minutes.

(They meet at a nearby park, they both hug each other. And he gives her a note.) 

Boy: Here you go, this is for you. I gotta go.

Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.) 

Boy: Baby, don't cry, you know I love you... But I have to go.

Girl: Okay (Begins to walk away.) 
(They both go back home. And Erica begins to read the letter he gave her) 
It says... 

"Erica,

You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I never loved you, I hated you so much, you are my bitch and don't you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I hate you. Now that I'm leaving I thought you should know that I hate you, bitch. You never did the right thing, and you were never there. I didn't think I could hate someone as much as I hate you. And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that's a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that. Bitch, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. Fuck, I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch... Goodbye.

- Ricardo" 

( Erica begins to cry, she throws the paper in the garbage & cries for hours)

... A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely... Then she gets a phone call....

Friend: How are you feeling?  
Girl: I just cant believe this happened.. I thought he loved me. 

Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo left me a message. A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something...

Girl: Umm.. okay. 

(She finds a piece of paper in the jacket.) 
It says: 

"Baby I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your dad might read it, so I switched a few words...

Hate = Love

Never = Always

Bitch = Baby

Will not = will

.... I hope you didn't take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats why I wanted 

you to run away with me... -Ricardo" 

Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter.. Ricardo does love me! He must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can't believe how stupid I am! 

( Erica turns the TV on. ) 
[Breaking news] 
"An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for survivors... This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it was on its way to an all boys boarding school..." the Reporter says. 

( She turns off the t.v. ... 3 days later, she kills herself, because of the fact that Ricardo was dead & she had nothing to live for... ) 

... A day after that the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a message. "Its Ricardo, I guess you're not home so, I called to let you know that I'm alive, I missed my flight because I 

had to see you one last time. So, I hope your not worried. I am staying for good.

this

HOW can you say you'll always be there for me, when your only there 'sometimes'. And HOW can you tell me everything is going to be okay, when you know it won't be. you have no idea how much you mean to me. and you have no idea how much i'd love to tell you that. I want you to know that I love you. I never did stop. Not for one gasping second. My love for you is unconditional & it will never end. I refuse to find others when I have the one I want. I never stopped thinking about you even though you stopped thinking about me. I never wanted to let go but I can't keep being your second choice; not when you're always my first.

Here is my first post

I want to be the kind of girl that leaves an everlasting impression on you. I don't want to be the type that u'll forget in a week. I want to be hard to forget. I want the kind of impact on you where they'll never find anyone who can take my place. And I want that. So lemme begin it with my first super-sok-cool post ini :') and make a good impression on you.